2009 is Flying By!II

I'm following a suggestion to look back at my New Year's Resolutions, check around my silly little life, and see what's going on in it!

These were my resolutions in December:

- Maybe start another blog, one meant for the public eye, an editorial on current international events. I think this would be a great way for me to take my major and make it into my passion! (August - Ok, so I didn't do international events, but Wax Cylinders is bringing me big bundles of happy!)

- Spend more time in the city (Aug - could still use more work here!)

- Go to at least one campus event a week (Aug - I didn't really work on that last year, but since I don't live in the dorms anymore, I want to make this a priority!)

- Keep a diary again (Aug - Total fail. I swear I'll keep trying tho, it's important to me!)

- Learn to like black coffee (Aug- Yeah, this one is nixed. Don't like it, won't like it.)

- Rediscover cello (Aug - I did this really well last quarter, lots of cello progress! This summer, on the other hand...)

- Eat one meal a day vegetarian (Aug - This will prolly start when I start living with my veggie-head alli!)

- Find some new bands, and a new direction in music (Aug - I could stand to shake things up a little more, I'd say!)

- Get away from jeans (Aug - I was a little too good at this... until my shopping trip on Saturday, I only had two pairs of jeans - and they were the same jeans.)

Ok, so let's see what new stuff I want around for the remainder of this crazy year!

Mid Year Resolutions!

- Work my ass off at Russian. I'm going to be living there in almost exactly a year, I do NOT want to sound like an idiot!

- Work as much as I can, and SAVE SAVE SAVE $! (Also with Russia in mind!)

- Live a happier life at school this year than I did last year. More friends and more fun!

- Get over this 'shy girl' nonsense. I never considered myself shy until someone told me I was, but once that happened it got way worse. I want to be life of the party girl!

- In addition to keeping a better diary, I want to blog more on here. You guys should know what's up!

- Keep in better touch with the CU and SEP crowds. I love you all big time!

- Do my best work on Wax Cylinders, the DU Democrats Blog, and my DU admissions blog!

Sunny side limerick!

SEP was closed, its sad but true
Due to cases of dreaded swine flu
And although it was bad,
It wasn't all sad,
Friends were made that are lasting and true!

I love my sep amigos, and you better believe I still got the glow!

I'm done with freshman year at DU

and I'm really not too choked up about it. If the whole thing had gone like fall quarter did, where we all ate together (every day at 6pm,) where we were in the lounge talking/complaining/intermittently doing some homework until 1 am, where I could pretty much wander into any room, even when we all played Smash way too many hours out of the day... well then, maybe I would feel like I'm going to miss it. 

Everything changed, though. The floor got so cliquey (I myself am not innocent of this.) There were certain people (ok, person) who I couldn't stand so much I couldn't be in the same room. I began to feel like even when we were miraculously all together again, I was with the wrong people, or like I was biting my tongue. There are a couple things I'll miss - living so close to Chris, his room, his roommate, his best friend here. But since my boyfriend, something I'm not planning on getting rid of when I move out, is the only thing I like about this year overall in this dorm, I can't say I'm too concerned about this being my last night here. 

The Fallout 3 Soundtrack is the Only Thing I Like Right Now.

I don't want to set the world on fire, I just want to start a flame in your heart <3

It would appear

that I am flailing about.

GOOGLE!

COME ON! I WANT TO SIGN OUT OF ZIMGIRL16! YOU WON'T LET ME! I -ACTUALLY- WANT TO WRITE MUSIC REVIEWS! 

You know the log-out button?

Doesn't work.

The 'sign-in- as a different user' button on GMail?

No funciona. Kaput. Не работает. 

AAAH!

Capitalism is Pretty Awesome When It's Your Birthday

- Sennheiser PX 100 headphones from Chris
- Origami star decoration,

- Pretty (now pencil) Bag,

- Moleskine unruled journal from Alli

- Pitchfork 500, geeky hipster music book from Amanda

- The Decemberists - 5 Songs EP 

- The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love

- Hello Kitty Pinkilili diary and makeup bag from Amanda F

- The Rasputin File by Edvard Radzinsky from Emma

- Workout clothes,

- The Dark Knight,

- Edward Scissorhands, From Hell and Benny and Joon,

- Talking Heads - Remain in Light,

- The Pretenders - Last of the Independents, all from my mom and dad!

^_^

A Play in 1/4 of an act

*Roommate randomly sits up at 2AM after being asleep for an hour while I'm still doing homework.*
Her: Are you ok?
Me: .....yes?
Her: Ok. could you turn out your light please?
Me: oh, um, I actually wasn't done yet...
Her: Thank you.
Me: *Turn off*
Her: falls immediately back to sleep.
Me: >_<

Snow day,

Muthafucka!

Maybe I should've stayed at the dorm for break...

This isn't the way to go about what I am trying to accomplish.

Maybe? Please???

There is a possibility of something amazing happening, very soon.




[yet isn't there always?]

Bag Hat.

Hat that is a Bag.




Yay, Fashion Week.

Donnie Darko Sequel....ugh

So there is a Donnie Darko sequel.
Straight to DVD, April 22ish.
Called S. Darko.
Based on Samantha Darko, the little sis.
Includes Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl evidently playing the same character he does in that show.
Also, Nathan Scott from One Tree Hill as a crazy homeless guy.
Why did this happen??

http://io9.com/5158091/wormholey-s-darko-trailer-arrives-judge-at-will

*deep breath*

My music blog is now open for business!

waxcylinders.blogspot.com

oh man.

The 15 Most Important Albums in my Life

1. OK Computer - Radiohead

2. Tie - Funeral / Neon Bible - Arcade Fire

3. Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie

4. Music from the OC: Mix 2 (not kidding, one of the best CDs out there)

5. This is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About - Modest Mouse

6. Fevers and Mirrors - Bright Eyes

7. Blonde on Blonde - Bob Dylan

8. Picaresque - The Decemberists

9. Hot Fuss - The Killers

10. American Idiot - Green Day

11. Nevermind - Nirvana

12. Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers

13. Bleed American - Jimmy Eat World

14. I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning - Bright Eyes

15. Chutes Too Narrow - The Shins


And yourself?

ennui again.

Tonight is the kind of night where I could either go out dancing like a maniac, or stay holed up in my room under the covers and hiding from everything.

I feel like doing something that is really spontaneous and also a really, really bad idea, like going clubbing right now, by myself. (This is probably not as shocking as it would seem, as great minds seem to think alike, lately. Does this mean its not just me?)

At the minimum, I need to stop thinking so far into the future, and into the past for that matter, and start living for right now. If only I understood right now as well as I do the past, or as well as I think I understand the future.

{In other news, why didn't I practice today? I feel like a great lump}

Somebody fix me, please?

ITC Day 18

I know I stopped posting these daily, but it does not mean I have stopped the ITC!

Far from it.

My ITC has worked so magically, I feel like the transformation is practically complete already. I don't even have to try anymore to avoid soda and refined sugar (exceptions made for my boyfriend's v-day gift of Godiva chocolates!), I'm thinking thrice before eating anything too fatty. I actually miss exercise this week (head colds do not like cardio). I have lost at least 4 inches off my waist, 2 off my hips, 9 lbs total, my skin is clearer... all magical. I hope I can go the last 10 days as well as the last 18! then again, I think these changes may be permanent! Big smiles, and I hope everyone else is doing great.

ennui |änˈwē|
noun

a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.

ORIGIN mid 18th cent.: French, from Latin mihi in odio est ‘it is hateful to me.’ Compare with annoy .

THERAFLU!

The nuclear warhead of cold medicines. 

Damn you, flu, you will be gone by midnight OR ELSE!

NOTHING is messing up my Valentine's date! :-<

OMGZ NO!

Last night I got a crazy rash all over my hands, arms and tummy and they were all freaky and swollen. Everyone's telling me its an allergic reaction, and I'm SO freaked out I might be allergic to strawberries.

STRAWBERRIES!

I think I'd have to actually leap off a bridge were I allergic to strawberries. 

ITC Week 1 in Review

Eating healthy - 80% -I've actually really been impressing myself. My sugar cravings are way unexpectedly low, especially for soda! So far the only sugary thingies I've had on the whole challenge were a little frozen yogurt cone at Jason's Deli and (sadly) an apple pastry from the French bakery... but come on, i was at a freaking French bakery. Otherwise, my delicious healthy groceries have been keeping me on track!

Working Out - 65% - Working out could go up from here, I'm really sad about my lack of hooping room. I loved pilates class, and hope to attend pilates, zoomba (aerobic dance), ab blast and kickboxing classes this next week.

Washing my face everyday - 100% - not a day missed!

Drinking water - 80% - One liter is too easy! Will up challenge to 2 liters a day.

Biting Nails - 60% - After a (really) rough start, I have managed four days in a row with no bites! Its crazy my addiction to that was tougher to kick than soda!

Weekly average - 78%

C'mon, that's a C! But still, great week of change!

ITC Day 4

Day four seems to have been the day of the slump… today was simply wrought with drama that was SUCH an energy suck, i literally felt lethargic all day since my head was so full with it. I skipped the gym and hooping, I didn’t eat well and I did an awful job practicing my cello. But I hope to be snapped out of it for tomorrow, for it is day 5, day of the second wind!

In order to make small steps to prevent today from being a total failure, I:
– drank a liter of water
– washed my face
– actually succeeded in not biting my nails!

ITC Days 2+3!

Day 2
- successful eating of the healthy foods! delicious tomato and mozzarella salad for lunch yumm!
- Total fail again with not biting my nails. Why is it sooo hard!
- No hooping :-( but I did scooter to all my classes and the bank
- the only refined sugar I had was one of those tiny frozen yogurt cones from Jason's Deli, and they are only 70 cals

Today I already
- noticed a positive change in my skin from cleansing every day
- drank one liter of water
- had a piece of fresh fruit
- failed AGAIN at not biting the nails. Will resolve from this moment on, no more!

Today I will
- go to pilates
- eat the least caloric thing at noodles (small buttered noodles - who knew?)

ITC Day 1!

Today I already -

- used cleanser and moisturizer on my face (break out, i will tame thee!)
- had a healthy honey nut cheerio with skim milk and blackberries breakfast


Today I will -

- hoop with amanda! and alli later?
- drink 2 liters of water
- not drink soda!

Everything is topsy-turvey.

Chill, life, chill.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs -

My New Favorite!
Give a Listen.

Observations:

In this class:
- two girls wearing leggings as pants
- a girl who is literally wearing pajamas
- a certain socialite that keeps eating her boogers
- my favorite, a bleach blonde with cutoff jean shorts and ugg boots that look like she has been going seal clubbing in the last few days

Skiing:

- Is stupid.
- Elitist
- probably not that fun
- where rich people go to get away from poor people.
- therefore not something I'm ever going to be able to do.

Confession:

Today was the first day I have practiced cello at DU. Like ever.

I love this:!

"The internet keeps finding other, more socially acceptable ways to justify its existence, but we all know it's really about two things: sex and Radiohead." - Pitchfork

New Year, Old Habits

1. Where aaaare youuu? Olley Olley Oxen-Free! Oh, and Give Peace a Chance!
2. My attitude towards you is changing again, more anger, less missing, but more conflict. We'll see where this takes us.
3. Why it took me this long to re-figure out, I don't know, but in any case I'm glad we are friends again, and I hope we will stay that way this time.
4. I think I will pretend like it didn't happen, even though I'm glad it did, it will make things more...cemented now, methinks.
5. I can't wait for you to do this. Even though the three of us always think we know exactly what's good for you, we tend to be counter-effectual in making your life any better when you sum all of us over the years. It will be good for you to get away from all this tug-of-war, but I do hope I can still be around after you do go away.
6. You are such a dummy, I wish she didn't have to do this with you, she is soooo much smarter than you.
7. Hahahahaha, you're a psycho and everyone knoooows it! Suggestion - no ultimatums unless you are 100% positive what they will say.
8. You, on the other hand, are a psycho but the poor girl doesn't know it yet. I don't know why it bugs me at all, but maybe that will just be an inevitable effect when it comes to what you are to me.
9. I really wish it didn't have to go down that way, but I really understand why it had to. Damn shame, though, I liked that a lot.
10. Straight and no frills, you have not been a good friend. I don't know if you realize how personally we take all this, and we may be wrong to do so, but that doesn't change the fact that we still do. I don't know if it will change, but I hope it does.
11. Patience waning, my friend, pull a trick out of your sleeve.
12. Any of you? Any of you at all?
13. Don't let the gloom get you down, don't forget you ownnn that town!
14. I'm scared of you! That said, I hope you kick my ass!
15. We forgot! I hope we, not just me. Replay this weekend?

The Most Beautiful Thing I've Ever Seen

Colihouse: "Adagio is legendary animator Garri Bardin’s 10-minute stop motion masterpiece in origami, set to Remo Giazotto’s Adagio in G minor. The events of this stark fable about ignorant intolerance among shadowy bird-creatures unfold [huhh huhh!] against a minimal backdrop in a variety of expert shots. The famous string score [used in the 1962 adaptation of Kafka's The Trial, and 1998 film Show Me Love just to name a couple] imparts a melancholy tension throughout.

The camera work is astounding, as is the vast range of expressions Bardin is able to assign these pieces of gray paper. He’s something of authority on bringing everyday objects to life, his famous earlier works being Conflict, where a war erupts among matches and Banquet, in which an entire dinner party plays out without people. Though most of Gari Bardin’s repertoire consists of embittered social commentary, Adagio stands apart in its sheer elegance.

Adagio is loosely based on one of my favorite short stories, Maxim Gorki’s legend of Danko and his burning heart. A part translation, part summary by E.J. Dillon:


Many thousands of years ago in a land of the sunrise beyond the sea, among a despised people who had been driven by a hostile race to the forests from the fertile steppe, lived the hero of this story, Danko. From the swamps and marshes of this dense virgin forest rose mephitic vapors which decimated the persecuted clan. These miserable fugitives, finding no outlet from their living sepulcher, finally decided in despair to seek out their foes and give themselves up to slavery or death.

At the critical moment the handsome young Danko comes forward and, like David among the Hebrews, boldly offers to save his people from the ruin with which they are threatened, to lead them onward to light and life. “Arise, let us enter in the forest depths, pushing on to the other side, for on earth all things have an end.” So mighty was the force of his will, so ardent the fire that burned in his breast, that the multitude rose up and followed him. But their ardor and hope were soon damped by the difficulty of forcing a way through the sunless forest tangle. They soon lost courage and loud were their murmurs against the enterprising leader. Like wild beasts they gathered round him and were on the point of putting him to death for his rash, unmediated interference. Thereat his heart burned with rage at their black ingratitude, but pity for the people quenched the fire. He loved those people and thought within himself that perhaps without him they would perish. And so his heart flamed forth with a blazing fire of desire to save them and to lead them along a smooth path, and his eyes forthwith glistened with the rays of that consuming flame. And all at once he tore open his breast with his hands, plucked out his heart and raised it aloft over his head.

It burned brightly like the sun, brighter than the sun, and all the forest was hushed thereat; illumined by this torch of love for men, darkness fled from its light far into the denseness of the wood and shuddering fell into a quagmire. The people, curious and spellbound, followed him once more, and very soon they saw before them a broad steppe suffused with the brilliant light of the sun reflected by the sparkling river. Softly whispered the wondering trees - now left behind - and the grass, moistened by Danko’s blood, answered them back. The proud dying hero, Danko, glanced at the breadth of the steppe outspread before him, surveyed joyfully the free earth, and proudly smiled. Then he fell and died."

I'm Back at School...

And not really in a fantastic mood. My bank account seems to tell me I have $175 in overdraft fees (and before emma/blair jump to conclusions, this is a legitimate bank -fail.- I did not actually overdraft.) And I made 3 and a half runs between University Hall, Lamont, Halls and Sturm in order to try to drop/ad into writing, orchestra, and lessons, to find out that I can actually only take lessons, meaning I am taking a pathetic 15 credit hours this quarter. And I don't have a job.

But,

I'm back with my friends (the college ones), my new meal plan is far superior and allowed me to have an actually delicious dinner, I am pretty fond of all my new teachers, and, no small 'pro' on the list, Chris is now two doors away again.

I couuuuld stop whining, but where is the blog fun in that?

For Christmas-

I always, always:
- Have two homemade waffles with peanut butter and homemade syrup and two pieces of fried ham for breakfast

- Get a new pair of pajamas from my grandma

- watch A Christmas Story on a loop on TBS

- on that note, every year my hatred for Randy, Ralphie's younger brother grows

- and I'm always impressed that the soundtrack of the movie is actually Peter and the Wolf

- I usually fall asleep at my great grandma's around 2PM and wake up when the turkey is done.

On that note, it seems to be my naptime!

Why This Never Got an Emmy is Beyond me

Mixed Emotions!

Sad and Adorable! :'-(  =  :-D

Christmas Eve Eve

Usually just means a lot of cleaning on my part. Amanda seems to be getting pretty into that little 'tradition,' but all I can seem to be motivated to do is play Fallout 3.

Call me crazy.

Dear Hannelore,

You are incredibly contrived. Please leave QC so I can start liking it again. You are a harbinger of suck.

Regards,
Kayla

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1299

See also:
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1276
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1244
http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1210

Bullet: Dodged.

Me, about a month ago: "I don't want to read/watch Twilight because I'm afraid I'll like it as I am a fan of ze vampires!"
Me, now: "OMG SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S EVEN REAL!"

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html

If you can get through to book 4's summary without fainting from awfulness overdose, you win.

Not Kidding, My Computer Has a Bedtime

It is approximately midnight. At that time, every night, without fail, it slows down about a million percent and really hates opening new windows but likes closing them.

...whiner. I miss my laptop! Wifi, wherefore art thou?!

beginning.

Big, Small and Tall... What I Want to Do in 2009

- Maybe start another blog, one meant for the public eye, an editorial on current international events. I think this would be a great way for me to take my major and make it into my passion!

- Spend more time in the city

- Go to at least one campus event a week

- Keep a diary again

- Learn to like black coffee

- Rediscover cello

- Eat one meal a day vegetarian

- Find some new bands, and a new direction in music

- Get away from jeans

In progress.

end.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Went to college!

2. Did you keep your New Year's Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No, I always resolve to drink more water and lose weight, those never happen. And I resolved to stop being catty, that didn't really work out either!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Negative.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Niet

5. What countries did you visit?
USA... :-(

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A job lol

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
5/24/2008 - Graduation!
9/1/2008 - First day of college

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting into school

9. What was your biggest failure?
I guess not getting into Claremont McKenna, but now I'm glad I didn't.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
YES! I started out the year, literally, 1 am on Jan 1st, with a 104 degree fever and was bedridden for the first week of 2008.

11. What was the best thing someone bought you?
I'm listening to my magical Bose iPod dock, so that's what comes to mind.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
This might sound stupid, but I made some really good decisions this year, so I would say my own!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh, you know, live and let live... [yeah right, I know]

14. Where did most of your money go?
OMG SKOOL. DU is tragically un-cheap.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Lol broken record, but the big one was starting at DU, also graduating, and my first date with Chris!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Viva la Vida - Coldplay, High and Dry - Radiohead

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier. a lot.
b) fatter or skinner? the same, exactly.
c) richer or poorer? poorer, even though I technically have a couple thousand in my bank account, but since its a loan I feel it makes me much, much poorer.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Volunteering, especially against genocide.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
:-/ Maybe spending money lol

20. How do you plan to spend Christmas?
The same as always. Christmas Eve party with my grandma's side here with cold cut sandwiches, Christmas morning with my parents and Amanda, breakfast (waffles) at my Great Grandma's, Christmas night back at my house for my Grandma and Grandpa's part.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I did <3

22. How many one night stands?
How rude! Anyway, I'm not the type.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Gossip freaking Girl.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
George W Bush! Oh, wait...

25. What was the best book you read?
Madeleine Albright's memoir

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I rediscovered Radiohead, and for real discovered Shiny Toy Guns and The Faint YAY!

27. What did you want and get?
A pleasant and friction free summer

28. What did you want and not get?
A job at Charlotte Russe for break.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Darjeeling Limited, as far as ones I saw for the first time in 2008

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I had a pretty awesome party here with all my friends and my chocolate fountain. And fire. lol

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Having Kelsey in-state. And a roommate I was friends with.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
In progress.

33. What kept you sane?
As always, my music. Radiohead and Explosions in the Sky get the honorable mentions.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nate Archibald and Chuck Bass

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election, FTW

36. Who do you miss?
Kelsey.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Chris!

38. What was the best thing you ate?
Chris introduced me to Benihana's, that was tasty scrumptious.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008?
If something big fails to happen, it is likely for a reason, the universe will take care of you.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
It's like a book, elegantly bound, but in a language that you can't read, just yet.

Amanda put my glasses in a jar of sour cream...

Because I first put hers in her baked potato.

If Being a Huge Christmas Fan is Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right!!

Evils of consumerism or no, I just things are a lot nicer, prettier and happier this time of year.

And I get to use the Evil Consumerism to buy my friends super duper presents!

Redesign, quoi??

Like?

Oops! 2 am again?

I've been meaning to go to bed earlier.
But I can think of far worse reasons for going to bed two hours late than talking to him all that time :-)

From a Facebook Note of Note

1. I can't imagine a food more disgusting than quiche. Except maybe bell peppers.

2. Though I usually really hate commercials, I like practically all of the Christmas themed ones. Even if they just play a Christmas carol in the background.

3. I'm bad at living in the moment. I'm pretty past-oriented. Pros - Lots of memories, I stay in touch with people for a long time. Cons - I can get wrapped up in trying to make something into a memory as it is happening, which means I don't enjoy it as much as I could, also I tend to hold grudges too long.

4. The very lowest score I have ever gotten on anything was a 32% on a test on trigonometry in my Math Studies class Junior year. (Looking past the 0%s I got on the homework I didn't do) On a separate note, this is the very first time, ever, I have had higher than a 3.5 GPA. It's a 4.0 now!

5. I have played cello for twelve years. I am embarrassed when I tell people this, because it makes people think I am good, which I'm not.

6. I probably judge people a little too much based on their music interests.

7. I did not dislike middle or high school in any significant way, and I think that makes me an outlier. No one really dislikes elementary school, at least in hindsight.

8. I am truly terrified of moray eels.

9. Even though it has gotten me in trouble a couple times in the past, that doesn't stop me from continuing to post things I shouldn't to the internet.

10. I do not like any drugs. I like drinks. But I never want more than four of anything.

11. If I accidentally leave my iPod on in my purse for a few hours, I will reset the play counts on the songs that mistakenly got played. Likewise, I get mad if people skip a song on my iPod at the very end, so that it does not get a play count.

12. You know how in the fourth Harry Potter book, Hermione tells Harry he has a 'saving people thing'? Yeah, I have that. It doesn't work out like I wish it would about half the time, when it just comes off as being nosy. They're probably right, in those cases.

13. I really really hate losing friends. I know that sounds like #3, but it's a pretty big part of me. I will go to pretty extreme lengths to try to hold a friendship together or stay in touch with people if they move away, and I'm really upset if I fail at that.

14. I am going to try really hard to be an SEP counselor this summer, because its still the most important place in my life.

15. I have made a very conscious effort this quarter to delete the part of my personality that made me gossipy and quick to dislike in high school. I believe it has made me a happier person.

16. I tend to over-indulge. As you may have noticed. (I bet most people answer this note with things like 'I went to Moore Middle School" or "my favorite color is purple." I should be less annoying in these. Sorry.)

Home is cozy, relaxed and non-demanding...

But it doesn't have you. I like it best when you are never more than a hundred feet from me. Call me clingly, but it's true.

And it doesn't have the rest of you, for that matter! If I already miss everyone, how will I go for 5 more weeks??

I'm Home Now...

And me kiddos are as hilarious as ever.
http://schnoodlecentral.blogspot.com

I'm grouchy.

I'm doing that thing, where when people say things, I am infuriated.

Oh Lord, forbid anyone touch me.

I'm ready to go home.

It's Finals and I have 38 pages of essays to write.

So of course I'm writing a 15.

1. Why did you start that again?

2. We noticed that I do consider you one, do you consider me one too?

3. You're icky.

4. I don't really want you to go away for so long. 

5. Have you ever tried not being negative?

6. How wise and Russian you are.

7. I'm going to make it work, please make that easy on me.

8. Ten suerte, bonne chance, viel gluck, удачи!!

9. I actually think you need it more than she does. 

10. Don't do that to her. I've been there a good half-dozen times, and its an awful place to be. 

101 in 1001 Update:

24 completed!

thesummerintodust.blogspot.com

TRL Had Its Last Episode Ever Tonight.

Meaning, there is officially no music, at all, on MTV, the Music Television channel.

Think they'll change the name? Suggestions?

At Least I'm Not the Only One This Time!

1. I'm really glad we are always us, even though everything is different now. And in regards to what is going on now, whatever outcome this ends with, you will still be you, and therefore you will remain outstanding. <3.

2. Open your mind and close your drawers!

3. You know me, I am a big fan of questioning things and defending what you believe, especially if it is different. But don't bite your tongue in person anymore. This way is a lot worse.

4. Will -we- still be us when you get back?

5. I didn't know this could ever feel this good. I've never come close to this before. You're amazing and you've changed everything.

6. You are getting on my last good nerve, buddy. Get it together or get the hell out. 

7. I want better things for you. I am glad, however, that I did not end up being that better thing.

8. God, I really really miss you. It is so unfair that you still exist for those that don't care, but that I just have to stay in this place. I hate this place. I hate you.

9. I kind of wanted you to see me on Friday, mostly because I knew it would upset you. Is that called sadism?

10. Have I stopped hating you? *checks* Nope, not yet.

Good Job, America. I'm Proud of You.

But first...

( The Beastie Boys were in my dining hall!)

Good work, everyone.

Cello is no longer a happy place.

It now makes me angry and frustrated.
Is this permanent?
I've played for twelve years just to stop liking it?

... :-/

Okay, reality check.

Dear Kayla,
It is not okay to skive off doing your homework for two nights in a row in favor of surfing facebook, watching fallout 3, playing Zelda and spending time with your boyfriend even though he is amazing. You are here to learn, you are smart and you worked hard to get here. Don't flake out now, you have too much to accomplish.

Love,
Kayla

Palin for Obama

Nice Scarf, Sarah!

Dear Every Band I Have Ever Liked, Ever:

WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU TOURING?????

With disdain,

Kayla

I am such a freak sometimes.

Me: "I was thinking about ankylosauruses earlier, and I thought, they're so damn wise."

Teaching Literary Terms to (ex)Cheerleaders:

"I wish I had a doppelganger! I wonder if she would be the evil or nice one?"
-Amanda F

I'm not really up for Iraq contemplation right now

I was trying, but all I could come up with is how much I hate Bush.

Soo...

Things One Should Grow Out of by College:

- Snack mix (for some reason I feel pretty strongly about this.)

- 'That's what she said"

- Saying 'that's random'

- Attacking police while incredibly drunk (okay, you should never do this in the first place, but tell that to that random 'shed' guy last night.)

- The Jonas Brothers

Things One Should Not Grow Out of:

- Easy Mac

- Stuffed rabbits

- MarioKart

- Cartoons

- Blogging during class. Or, at least, I hope not.

To Satiate Zachary Cox:

25 Lessons Learned in the First Five Weeks:

- Steel water bottles are more effective for stealing milk from the cafeteria. Aquafinas are downright sketch... Sobes approved on a case-by-case basis. 

- Saturday Night Live is a perfectly acceptable (sole) source of news. The Bahamas could launch a full scale invasion of Asia, but if it doesn't make Weekend Update I will not have a clue.

- If it is past 1AM on the honors floor, not only will the lounge be standing room only, but for some unknown reason the collective vocabulary of the floor has risen to a PhD level. 

- The harder the cause of a group is to sell, the better the free food at the first meeting. I.E. - Alpine Club - Jolly Ranchers (:-/) Amnesty International - Cookies and funsize Snickers (Getting better...) DU Wiccan Baby Sacrificers could be expected to have a steak dinner. (also featuring steak dinners, for some reason, are the frats and sororities... I'll let you glean your own conclusions there)

- My scooter is now an extension of my leg.

- Yoga club might be worthwhile if only to be able to manage to shave my legs in a 9 square foot shower. 

- Examining the socio-psychological value of Super Smash Brothers is a worthy exercise. 

- My betta fish Icky is more resilient than I previously believed. I remember to feed him about 60% of the time. Ok, I'll stop that.

- Anyone who tries to keep a cellist out of an elevator is the equivalent of one of those rich guys on the Titanic that pitched ladies out of the lifeboats, and will be treated as such.

- The Spicy Pickle closes at 4pm, Qdoba closes at 10, Safeway at 12am, the Cstore around 11/12, Jerusalem's never!

- Naps can be taken in any location featuring a chair. 

- Props to the 40 something Greek lady in my classes, but seriously, can't she not wear Harley Davidson baseball hats EVERY DAY?

- Anything is delicious at 2am. A-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. 

- If someone goes to bed before 1:30, everyone assumes they are sick or crazy. 

- Talking during the Office is a cardinal sin.

- There will come a day when 2 North + Ari will score a point in broomball, but most likely (whenever anyone reads this ever) today is not that day. 

- Collars with little bells would be very prudent for certain people on certain weekends. 

- The popluar opinion on campus seems to be that the honors floor must be some kind of cult.

- Nothing clears the usually insanely busy campus green like the 'McCain/Palin Victory Bus'

- Tensions between Mac and PC users at times have the potential to erupt in to a civil war.

- No winky face on the whiteboard, scrunchie on the door handle, deadbolt or rabid doberman pincer will keep you safe from embarrassment. 

- People will go to political meetings just for posters to revenge their partisan enemies with a good plastering.

- If you schedule anything for before 2pm on a Saturday, you better believe there is no chance of you actually completing said activity. 

- No essay, reading or exam is of any importance once someone on the floor starts taking OkCupid or Political Compass tests. 

- Vietnam / Iraq does not seem to be a class where paying attention is particularly important. This blog is written in said lecture.

I'm 'Like Russian Novels and Classical Music'

Everything (he) is kind of perfect.

Collegiate 15!

1. You are such a great person, and I am never going to let people say otherwise, to tooth and nail. 

2. You aren't on your own anymore, there are more people here that care than you know. 

3. You are such a theater kid. It's okay tho. 

4. You are kind of the meanest person I've ever met. Like, for serious.

5. You're mysterious. Like a Whitney. Actually, a lot like Whitney. 

6. You are nowhere to be found. Sweet!

7. Like me, dammit! And stop liking the Jonas Brothers!

8. Whenever I feel like I'm losing myself here, all I have to do is spend 10 minutes with you and I know why I like myself and why I love you. More expressionist films, please?

9. You're kind of perfect. (!)

10. You = puppy. It's so cute!

11. Get yo shit togetha! Meaning, one is CLEARLY more fantastic than the other so please act accordingly!

12. I need to hang out with you more. You are pretty darn chill.

13. Thank GOD there is someone on this campus who knows what live music is and knows 'pitchfork' does not mean a pronged hay tossing utensil. I just wish you weren't the only one!

14. I'd be more okay with you being boring if you were nicer.

15. I wish I had that!

A dialogue:

The Hookah Bar: Hey, remember when your relationship was irreparably damaged by me?
Me: yeah.
The Hookah Bar: I know a new trick: now I do it pre-emptively!
Me: Thanks a lot, asshole.

...The College Post

Here I am, eh?
After all the thinking and applying and agonizing and packing and angst, I'm here.
And I pretty much adore it.
I think I took too much stock in stories I had heard in the past about college... the people are boring and disengaged and stupid, the rooms are unlivable, the food is inedible... but I don't believe a word of it.
This is the first time in three if not four years that I have actually felt friendly. As high school ended, I had four absolutely amazing wouldn't-trade-for-the-world best friends. But now, it's different. I have literally not met one new person here who I do not like. Think about that, think about who is saying that! We all know I am a huge bitch! Or at least I tend to despise the masses. But here, the masses are not half bad. I've got about ten friends who I could spend infinite time with, and would if we didn't force ourselves to go to bed at the end of the night. We've talked politics, philosophy, TV, sex/drugs/alcohol and played with photo booth for an hour at a time. We mock the misery that was PlayFair, we laud our seminar class (mine's Buffy!) and generally, it's pretty amazing. Not only do I feel great surrounded by all this, but I actually think I am getting -healthier-, rather than fatter as most freshmen get.

So scheduling was sort of like the nuclear winter. When you are literally the last group of 20 to register for classes, out of a class of 1100 into classes that hold about 20 people, the only things left for us are the cockroaches, so to speak. Thanks to some tricky fanangling and two amazing professors, I might have it down, but we'll see when we get to class next week...
...which I am dreading because I have no books, no computer, and not a cent with which to buy them. The Fucktarded people at Chase Loans are not to be trusted! If I'm going to be $19,000 in debt for this year alone, I had better be able to actually USE that money, doncha think???

Well, whining accomplished. I have been holed up in the computer lab long enough, (although to be fair, it is my first time on one in a week) its about time that I see if any of these fine people want to hit the Merc tonight. Toodles, and wish me luck for scary classeses!

I do not have a computer or a toothbrush

Awesome.

I Have About 16 Hours Left In My House...

Oh my God.

Why Clinton is my favorite president:

"People in this world have always been more inspired by the power of our example than by the example of our power."
- Bill Clinton, DNC speech 28 August 2008

Well, hopefully my second favorite president as of the day after this election!

Democrats in the HIZOUSE!

Today I marked off a huge dream of mine since I was about 14 - I volunteered at and got into the Democratic National Convention, which is oh-so-luckily right here in Denver! After getting up at the ungodly hour of 6am and bussing into Market Station, I met up with the Rock The Vote bus group,

they tossed me a t-shirt and a stack of postcards, and sent me off into the great unknown. Which was actually that door at the convention center with the big blue bear.



I canvassed here for a few hours, only to be interrupted by these clowns headed for me at the crosswalk:


Don't they seem a little lost? I did, but when my partner started giving them directions to Minneapolis-St Paul, they seemed miffed. They proceeded to chant "Drill Here, Drill Now" on the corner, which caused the usually packed sidewalk to do this:


with an outer ring of glaring Obamaites. Good thing -we- actually value free speech, eh? I wonder what would happen to Obama demonstrators in St Paul. Another gross group was the anti-abortion league, a bunch of 'priests' with megaphones and pictures of dead aborted fetuses. No pictures of them, for obvious disgusting reasons.

Finally, I got invited to the Youth Voters press conference which was actually IN the convention center, a place I never thought I would get into. I thought you needed all sorts of fancy passes to get in, but it turns out most events are open to the public. Yay!



Last but not least, the SWAG of the day, from the lovely ladies at Planned Parenthood. <3!

Political prophylactics!


It was lovely and exciting and historical and I can't wait to go back Wednesday!

On My Dental Predicament -

I seem to be down four full grown wisdom teeth, as it were.
However, the experience of the Valium I made them give me plus the nitrous oxide plus the fact that they let me watch The Incredibles during the procedure made the whole thing seem awfully hilarious.
Plus, what could be bad about eating nothing but jello, pudding and gravy for a few days! (Okay, not technically gravy, but that is the more common use for cream of mushroom!)
I can't imagine why anyone would want to take vicodin if they didn't have to. Far from getting one high, all they seem to do is make me sleepy and nauseous. Ridiculous!

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

200th post - time for self-examination!

According to this (http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/tests/SameAnswers_t.aspx?id=310) VIA Signature Strengths test, out of 24 areas, my four strongest strengthy strengths are:

1. Love of Learning
2. Capacity to Love and be Loved
3. Kindness and Generosity
4. Humor and Playfulness

and my weakest, weakly weaknesses are (least to most sucky)

4. Self-control and Self-regulation (they asked a lot of questions about dieting! EW!)
3. Spirituality and Faith
2. Forgiveness and Mercy
1. Modesty and Humility

Fair? I think so. Curious what you guys think, open fire so to speak! and if you feel like taking the test yourself, go for it! If the link doesn't work, just google the test name!

....Heeey.

Commissioner Gordon is totally Sirius Black, guys.

Yes, I just noticed that.

101 in 1001 Update:

17/101 Finished!

(thesummerintodust.blogspot.com)

Dear Julia,

Your now ex-boyfriend tried to kiss me Sunday night.

Love and kisses ;-),
Kayla

Its much better

to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.

My sister is wise.

Amanda:
"Fuck regrets. Especially regrets over fucking."

To Shake Things Up..

Things I Hate Thursday!

- Quiche.
- Groundings (of Amanda, she is driving me crazy)
- Ambiguity
- The existence of time/space
- Sour things
- Extended Essay graders
- Frustration
- Laziness
- Julia (/ Cat) (ok, ok couldn't help Facebook surfing tonight.)
- Facebook surfing
- Homework
- Change
- People changing
- Trips down memory lane. Certain ones.
- Pointlessness
- Boredom
- Everyone. With the exceptions of everyone I love.

Th-Th-That's All, Folks!

Subject		Grade
2008 MAY	ENGLISH A1 HL	5
2008 MAY	SPANISH B SL	6
2008 MAY	HIST.EUROPE HL in ENGLISH	6
2008 MAY	HISTORY EE in ENGLISH	D
2007 MAY	PSYCHOLOGY SL in ENGLISH	5
2008 MAY	BIOLOGY HL in ENGLISH	5
2008 MAY	MATH.STUDIES SL in ENGLISH	6
2008 MAY	THEORY KNOWL. TK in ENGLISH	B
Additional/Extra subjects
None
EE/TOK points:	1
Total points:	34
Results:	Diploma awarded

Some words -
Extended Essay WTF?

Even more, a 6 in MATH???

But, overall, alright!

My phone has been turned off. ALL. WEEK.

So Look what I made!



There is something seriously wrong with me.

The song "Lucky" by Radiohead

Has given me an inexplicable appreciation and renewed for the cello.

There is absolutely no cello in this song.

So... any ideas, Alli?

I just discovered a lake behind my house

Okay, well technically I knew about the lake already. But you can walk to it and there is a dock right here I never knew about. The moon is so so bright tonight, its like there is a spotlight behind me. Its also surprising how fast these waves come in. Call me a city girl, but it never even occured to me that lakes had waves. Anyway. This dock is a little cement ramp, about as big as two of these picnic blankets I'm sitting on now. Its not even cold. Windy and bright more than anything else. Walking up to it, it just looks like a big missing thing where the lake is. Like a big black hole. Its nifty. Really, more than anything else I'm wishing I was here with someone. Well technically I am, but not anyone really. My sister, yeah, but shes pretty busy with Lauren, lauren's interest, and an ex-hook up of mine to emphasize the isolate. Right now I'm thinking of the people I wouldve liked to have brought here. People I knew or people I don't know anymore, at least enough to show them this. Really what this is all highlighting is that I'm leaving home soon. If someone comes along, next year, I won't be at home. I won't have anything, just of my own, to show them. Either that is really sad, or its kinda, hopeful. They won't have anything, either, which makes we will all have to make new things to be ours, find new "lakes" and places. I hope at least that I can find a way to stay this sappily romantic, anyway.

On a happier note...

I just signed up for an actual class on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and it turns out I like my job, in the end.

It Has Been PRECISELY 365 Days

Since I last talked to you.

I'm actually kind of jealous that its her that you are trying to talk to, who you won't leave alone. She doesn't have much to say to you.
Me? That's a different story. I have a fucking year's worth of things to say to you.

I'm itching to.

I suppose you haven't changed much. Still manipulating innocent people, turning us against each other. It's hard to see right through all of this, that you are actually actively trying to isolate us again. We should be angry with the right people.

It's really, really sad, however, that you have turned the tricks of psychology on yourself and you seem to actually have convinced yourself that you are telling the truth. That you never did what you did. Not only to Emma, but to Allison, hell, all of us. You don't even remember what a monster you are. And I wouldn't want to remember, either. Think you can teach me that trick so I can forever erase you, too?

Do us a favor. Leave us the fuck alone. Not just us, but everyone. No one needs scum like you in their lives. It wasn't worth it to be friends with you, to trust you above many others, for it to end like this and for me to get sick every time I hear your name. No one deserves that feeling, so no one deserves you cursing their lives.

I fucking hate you more than ever.

Tell it, Jack!

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!" - on the road

Shut Up, Birds.

Why am I still awake?

Do You Think Thom Yorke Will Marry Me?

"High & Dry"
Radiohead
(1997)

Things I Love Thursday! 6/5/08

- Karaoke and Margaritas!
- My cell phone. We have been more inseparable than usual lately.
- My new Charlotte Russe 'uniforms.' (Though I hope the job gets more fun!)
- Halo on Normal level. Lots of screaming on my part.
- Oscar is so damn cuddly when it is rainy.

Well, The Dashboard Melted

But we still had the radio!!

A query:

Is it worth it to pay $30 and also have to see Good Charlotte in order to go to the Metro Station concert?

I've just written you a letter.

It is 6 pages long and it says everything.

You always think everything on here is about you.
Guess what?
This time you'd be 100% correct.

Narrow Stairs:

Death Cab's new album, and the official soundtrack to this summer!

A Poem for Today, Day of All Days

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)
-EE CUMMINGS

This can't be right...

Wait, you're telling me I'm done?
I'm finished.
No more studying.
Even if I felt like being proactive and studious, nothing left to study?
No more homework?
No more IAs?
Extended Essays?
I don't have to have panic attacks this summer about said essays?
No more HL biology?
I can read what I want?
I can play freaking GUITAR HERO?
I seriously have time to play Guitar Hero???
In seven days, no more Cat??
I am actually, honest to God, truly and really
FINISHED WITH IB?????


Jeez, I'm going to miss it. Masochist?

A 15, because I have been regressing today.

1. You are the only one who I could watch Blue's Clues with that would answer all the questions wrong with me. Love!
2. You know what, you are actually pretty hot. and charming! Why does it seem like you are so out of my league?
3. God, I Fucking HATE you so much! I seriously don't get why it is me that you are bitching about! I don't even -do- anything to you! I'm much meaner to your 'bestie.' Why don't I have the balls to bitch you out?
4. It was kind of a relief. Ever since it got brought up, I was afraid I would suddenly be jealous, but no such bad luck, it turns out I actually -am- qualified to identify the inner workings of my mind!
5. Man, you are an asshole. That adorable Iron Giant had to get dead acause a you!
6. I don't trust you anymore, because the first emotion I feel anytime I think of a friend should not be betrayal.
7. I have been acting weird towards you. I'm sorry. It'll go away once I'm free from IB shackles!
8. Where'd you go?
9. You made me cry Tuesday morning.
10. It's sad, but this will keep it from becoming all the previous breaks all over again. Now its crunch time.
11. I don't mean to mock you, but she and I are right, you have changed a ton and a half in a weird way. Also, I hate each one of your new friends.
12. I WILL have sex with you by the end of the summer, dammit.
13. You aren't my enemy. You couldn't be if you tried (which you kinda did.) Keep up with this, and we may have a real friendship on our hands. We haven't ever had that before.
14. It totally was your fault, even if it was a little bit mine, you still should've known better!! goof!
15. You were here and gone so fast, and with the timing, if I hadn't found out I never would've noticed. I hate this. I hate that I believe it now. But for some reason, I don't hate you. Should I? I really don't know.

A Haiku

IB is tricky
not the history exam
but I fear Bio.

To Put it as Simply as I Can:

I wish this hadn't happened to Jon.