I haven't written a blog in a really long time, figured I may as well.

So we've hit that time of the year, where you can't absorb much more, whether it be school or social or whatever. Its the smile-and-nod time, just float through this one more day until you are that much closer to starting over.

This week, I have a high-stakes cello audition, find out the results of two very prominent finals, take the AP history test, and as if I didn't have enough to stress about I have an ultrasound test on thursday to see if this bump on my chest wants to kill me or not. And I can't draw conor oberst for the LIFE of me.

If I think about anything too hard I'm just going to get overwhelmed.

My sister is scrambling trying to write her speech to try to become the captain of her cheerleading squad. She got put on JV for the 2nd year in a row, and she's really disappointed about it. I'm not used to her not getting her way and it kinda pisses me off because i think SOMEONE in our family may as well, and if its not going to be the cheerleading beauty its not going to be anyone.

Her little friend I despise called her yesterday in complete hysterics because this boy she likes wouldn't talk to her on the phone because he was still sleeping from prom the night before. This girl was WAILING, whatever she said to my sister was totally undescernable. I couldn't stand it, but then I started to wonder if I'm not just like that. Here I was, thinking "How stupid of this girl to flip out so much over some guy - one that doesn't even like her." and I kinda realized, isn't that what I've been doing for the last three months? short of bawling on the phone to my best friend, I've still been pining away for basically the same thing as the crazed cheerleader. And though she may be more vocal about it, we are both equally pathetic.

That audition is totally plaguing me (sorry for the gear shift there.) Beginning this August, I will have been playing the cello for no less than a decade. And what do I have to show for it? Two thirds of my life I've spent with the potential to develop something that could carry me at least through college, and I only start caring about it in the eighth grade. I saw Rainer perform at the Solo and Ensemble competition, and i felt like crying. I'm guessing I just don't get that reaction when Alex and Jane play because they are fantastic people I love and Rainer is a bastard most of the time, but I can't think of any good excuse of why i shouldn't be that good after ten years. If I were to make this audition, I would get 1/2 tuition at DU. Thats saving me about $80000 dollars. If I could do it. I really can't. I'm just not good enough. I spent seven years being lazy and I'm paying for it now.

This ranks pretty high on my angsty ranty blogs. But if you read this (if anyone ever does,) it means you have already signed up for the 'friend' position in my life and its your job to pretend to care. So there. No more complaints out of you, mister.

Have you ever watched Supernanny? Its sad, Americans aren't even smart enough to raise their own children, we need the British to come and rescue us from the heathens.

I wrote a Grapes of Wrath essay about how children cause all the problems in the novel. My mom read it, and got mad at me because she thought I was a bad person and kid-hater. I don't hate kids, in fact I'm one of my only friends that actually plans on having any. My mom should learn there are OTHER factors that make me a bad person.

Saturday I went out to the Promenade with my sister, Lauren and Amanda's new boyfriend. I thought I had better scope him out to see if I approved. Turns out I don't have huge standards for her beaus. I asked him what music he listened to and approved when he had a conversation with one of the bronze yodeling horses they have at the promenade. Most of her boyfriends don't speak when I'm around, and this one handled that aspect fine. BUT a warning for those of you with siblings - do NOT see a movie with your sister and her boyfriend. Think about what all girls do with their boyfriends in dark theaters. Don't make the mistake and think they may realize the potential severe awkwardness. Honestly, when you are subjected to seeing the little girl you played Barbies with for seven years snogging for thirty-five minutes straight, it changes you.

My ranting has surely become tiresome to you all, and I think for mercy's sake I may now bid you all a fond adieu.

-*_*