My phone has been turned off. ALL. WEEK.

So Look what I made!



There is something seriously wrong with me.

The song "Lucky" by Radiohead

Has given me an inexplicable appreciation and renewed for the cello.

There is absolutely no cello in this song.

So... any ideas, Alli?

I just discovered a lake behind my house

Okay, well technically I knew about the lake already. But you can walk to it and there is a dock right here I never knew about. The moon is so so bright tonight, its like there is a spotlight behind me. Its also surprising how fast these waves come in. Call me a city girl, but it never even occured to me that lakes had waves. Anyway. This dock is a little cement ramp, about as big as two of these picnic blankets I'm sitting on now. Its not even cold. Windy and bright more than anything else. Walking up to it, it just looks like a big missing thing where the lake is. Like a big black hole. Its nifty. Really, more than anything else I'm wishing I was here with someone. Well technically I am, but not anyone really. My sister, yeah, but shes pretty busy with Lauren, lauren's interest, and an ex-hook up of mine to emphasize the isolate. Right now I'm thinking of the people I wouldve liked to have brought here. People I knew or people I don't know anymore, at least enough to show them this. Really what this is all highlighting is that I'm leaving home soon. If someone comes along, next year, I won't be at home. I won't have anything, just of my own, to show them. Either that is really sad, or its kinda, hopeful. They won't have anything, either, which makes we will all have to make new things to be ours, find new "lakes" and places. I hope at least that I can find a way to stay this sappily romantic, anyway.

On a happier note...

I just signed up for an actual class on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and it turns out I like my job, in the end.

It Has Been PRECISELY 365 Days

Since I last talked to you.

I'm actually kind of jealous that its her that you are trying to talk to, who you won't leave alone. She doesn't have much to say to you.
Me? That's a different story. I have a fucking year's worth of things to say to you.

I'm itching to.

I suppose you haven't changed much. Still manipulating innocent people, turning us against each other. It's hard to see right through all of this, that you are actually actively trying to isolate us again. We should be angry with the right people.

It's really, really sad, however, that you have turned the tricks of psychology on yourself and you seem to actually have convinced yourself that you are telling the truth. That you never did what you did. Not only to Emma, but to Allison, hell, all of us. You don't even remember what a monster you are. And I wouldn't want to remember, either. Think you can teach me that trick so I can forever erase you, too?

Do us a favor. Leave us the fuck alone. Not just us, but everyone. No one needs scum like you in their lives. It wasn't worth it to be friends with you, to trust you above many others, for it to end like this and for me to get sick every time I hear your name. No one deserves that feeling, so no one deserves you cursing their lives.

I fucking hate you more than ever.

Tell it, Jack!

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!" - on the road

Shut Up, Birds.

Why am I still awake?

Do You Think Thom Yorke Will Marry Me?

"High & Dry"
Radiohead
(1997)

Things I Love Thursday! 6/5/08

- Karaoke and Margaritas!
- My cell phone. We have been more inseparable than usual lately.
- My new Charlotte Russe 'uniforms.' (Though I hope the job gets more fun!)
- Halo on Normal level. Lots of screaming on my part.
- Oscar is so damn cuddly when it is rainy.

Well, The Dashboard Melted

But we still had the radio!!

A query:

Is it worth it to pay $30 and also have to see Good Charlotte in order to go to the Metro Station concert?

I've just written you a letter.

It is 6 pages long and it says everything.

You always think everything on here is about you.
Guess what?
This time you'd be 100% correct.