I instantly
Fall in love
With every poet
I meet.

Any poets who know me, I am in love with you.

Today I saw...

A guy, about 30, wearing a business suit with no jacket, totally booking it running down Evans with a bouquet of flowers, looking frantic.

I hope that scene was as romantic in real life as I had imagined it was!

2009 is Flying By!II

I'm following a suggestion to look back at my New Year's Resolutions, check around my silly little life, and see what's going on in it!

These were my resolutions in December:

- Maybe start another blog, one meant for the public eye, an editorial on current international events. I think this would be a great way for me to take my major and make it into my passion! (August - Ok, so I didn't do international events, but Wax Cylinders is bringing me big bundles of happy!)

- Spend more time in the city (Aug - could still use more work here!)

- Go to at least one campus event a week (Aug - I didn't really work on that last year, but since I don't live in the dorms anymore, I want to make this a priority!)

- Keep a diary again (Aug - Total fail. I swear I'll keep trying tho, it's important to me!)

- Learn to like black coffee (Aug- Yeah, this one is nixed. Don't like it, won't like it.)

- Rediscover cello (Aug - I did this really well last quarter, lots of cello progress! This summer, on the other hand...)

- Eat one meal a day vegetarian (Aug - This will prolly start when I start living with my veggie-head alli!)

- Find some new bands, and a new direction in music (Aug - I could stand to shake things up a little more, I'd say!)

- Get away from jeans (Aug - I was a little too good at this... until my shopping trip on Saturday, I only had two pairs of jeans - and they were the same jeans.)

Ok, so let's see what new stuff I want around for the remainder of this crazy year!

Mid Year Resolutions!

- Work my ass off at Russian. I'm going to be living there in almost exactly a year, I do NOT want to sound like an idiot!

- Work as much as I can, and SAVE SAVE SAVE $! (Also with Russia in mind!)

- Live a happier life at school this year than I did last year. More friends and more fun!

- Get over this 'shy girl' nonsense. I never considered myself shy until someone told me I was, but once that happened it got way worse. I want to be life of the party girl!

- In addition to keeping a better diary, I want to blog more on here. You guys should know what's up!

- Keep in better touch with the CU and SEP crowds. I love you all big time!

- Do my best work on Wax Cylinders, the DU Democrats Blog, and my DU admissions blog!

Sunny side limerick!

SEP was closed, its sad but true
Due to cases of dreaded swine flu
And although it was bad,
It wasn't all sad,
Friends were made that are lasting and true!

I love my sep amigos, and you better believe I still got the glow!

I'm done with freshman year at DU

and I'm really not too choked up about it. If the whole thing had gone like fall quarter did, where we all ate together (every day at 6pm,) where we were in the lounge talking/complaining/intermittently doing some homework until 1 am, where I could pretty much wander into any room, even when we all played Smash way too many hours out of the day... well then, maybe I would feel like I'm going to miss it. 

Everything changed, though. The floor got so cliquey (I myself am not innocent of this.) There were certain people (ok, person) who I couldn't stand so much I couldn't be in the same room. I began to feel like even when we were miraculously all together again, I was with the wrong people, or like I was biting my tongue. There are a couple things I'll miss - living so close to Chris, his room, his roommate, his best friend here. But since my boyfriend, something I'm not planning on getting rid of when I move out, is the only thing I like about this year overall in this dorm, I can't say I'm too concerned about this being my last night here. 

The Fallout 3 Soundtrack is the Only Thing I Like Right Now.

I don't want to set the world on fire, I just want to start a flame in your heart <3

It would appear

that I am flailing about.

GOOGLE!

COME ON! I WANT TO SIGN OUT OF ZIMGIRL16! YOU WON'T LET ME! I -ACTUALLY- WANT TO WRITE MUSIC REVIEWS! 

You know the log-out button?

Doesn't work.

The 'sign-in- as a different user' button on GMail?

No funciona. Kaput. Не работает. 

AAAH!

Capitalism is Pretty Awesome When It's Your Birthday

- Sennheiser PX 100 headphones from Chris
- Origami star decoration,

- Pretty (now pencil) Bag,

- Moleskine unruled journal from Alli

- Pitchfork 500, geeky hipster music book from Amanda

- The Decemberists - 5 Songs EP 

- The Decemberists - The Hazards of Love

- Hello Kitty Pinkilili diary and makeup bag from Amanda F

- The Rasputin File by Edvard Radzinsky from Emma

- Workout clothes,

- The Dark Knight,

- Edward Scissorhands, From Hell and Benny and Joon,

- Talking Heads - Remain in Light,

- The Pretenders - Last of the Independents, all from my mom and dad!

^_^

A Play in 1/4 of an act

*Roommate randomly sits up at 2AM after being asleep for an hour while I'm still doing homework.*
Her: Are you ok?
Me: .....yes?
Her: Ok. could you turn out your light please?
Me: oh, um, I actually wasn't done yet...
Her: Thank you.
Me: *Turn off*
Her: falls immediately back to sleep.
Me: >_<

Snow day,

Muthafucka!

Maybe I should've stayed at the dorm for break...

This isn't the way to go about what I am trying to accomplish.

Maybe? Please???

There is a possibility of something amazing happening, very soon.




[yet isn't there always?]

Bag Hat.

Hat that is a Bag.




Yay, Fashion Week.

Donnie Darko Sequel....ugh

So there is a Donnie Darko sequel.
Straight to DVD, April 22ish.
Called S. Darko.
Based on Samantha Darko, the little sis.
Includes Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl evidently playing the same character he does in that show.
Also, Nathan Scott from One Tree Hill as a crazy homeless guy.
Why did this happen??

http://io9.com/5158091/wormholey-s-darko-trailer-arrives-judge-at-will

*deep breath*

My music blog is now open for business!

waxcylinders.blogspot.com

oh man.

The 15 Most Important Albums in my Life

1. OK Computer - Radiohead

2. Tie - Funeral / Neon Bible - Arcade Fire

3. Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie

4. Music from the OC: Mix 2 (not kidding, one of the best CDs out there)

5. This is a Long Drive for Someone With Nothing to Think About - Modest Mouse

6. Fevers and Mirrors - Bright Eyes

7. Blonde on Blonde - Bob Dylan

8. Picaresque - The Decemberists

9. Hot Fuss - The Killers

10. American Idiot - Green Day

11. Nevermind - Nirvana

12. Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers

13. Bleed American - Jimmy Eat World

14. I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning - Bright Eyes

15. Chutes Too Narrow - The Shins


And yourself?

ennui again.

Tonight is the kind of night where I could either go out dancing like a maniac, or stay holed up in my room under the covers and hiding from everything.

I feel like doing something that is really spontaneous and also a really, really bad idea, like going clubbing right now, by myself. (This is probably not as shocking as it would seem, as great minds seem to think alike, lately. Does this mean its not just me?)

At the minimum, I need to stop thinking so far into the future, and into the past for that matter, and start living for right now. If only I understood right now as well as I do the past, or as well as I think I understand the future.

{In other news, why didn't I practice today? I feel like a great lump}

Somebody fix me, please?

ITC Day 18

I know I stopped posting these daily, but it does not mean I have stopped the ITC!

Far from it.

My ITC has worked so magically, I feel like the transformation is practically complete already. I don't even have to try anymore to avoid soda and refined sugar (exceptions made for my boyfriend's v-day gift of Godiva chocolates!), I'm thinking thrice before eating anything too fatty. I actually miss exercise this week (head colds do not like cardio). I have lost at least 4 inches off my waist, 2 off my hips, 9 lbs total, my skin is clearer... all magical. I hope I can go the last 10 days as well as the last 18! then again, I think these changes may be permanent! Big smiles, and I hope everyone else is doing great.

ennui |änˈwē|
noun

a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.

ORIGIN mid 18th cent.: French, from Latin mihi in odio est ‘it is hateful to me.’ Compare with annoy .

THERAFLU!

The nuclear warhead of cold medicines. 

Damn you, flu, you will be gone by midnight OR ELSE!

NOTHING is messing up my Valentine's date! :-<

OMGZ NO!

Last night I got a crazy rash all over my hands, arms and tummy and they were all freaky and swollen. Everyone's telling me its an allergic reaction, and I'm SO freaked out I might be allergic to strawberries.

STRAWBERRIES!

I think I'd have to actually leap off a bridge were I allergic to strawberries. 

ITC Week 1 in Review

Eating healthy - 80% -I've actually really been impressing myself. My sugar cravings are way unexpectedly low, especially for soda! So far the only sugary thingies I've had on the whole challenge were a little frozen yogurt cone at Jason's Deli and (sadly) an apple pastry from the French bakery... but come on, i was at a freaking French bakery. Otherwise, my delicious healthy groceries have been keeping me on track!

Working Out - 65% - Working out could go up from here, I'm really sad about my lack of hooping room. I loved pilates class, and hope to attend pilates, zoomba (aerobic dance), ab blast and kickboxing classes this next week.

Washing my face everyday - 100% - not a day missed!

Drinking water - 80% - One liter is too easy! Will up challenge to 2 liters a day.

Biting Nails - 60% - After a (really) rough start, I have managed four days in a row with no bites! Its crazy my addiction to that was tougher to kick than soda!

Weekly average - 78%

C'mon, that's a C! But still, great week of change!

ITC Day 4

Day four seems to have been the day of the slump… today was simply wrought with drama that was SUCH an energy suck, i literally felt lethargic all day since my head was so full with it. I skipped the gym and hooping, I didn’t eat well and I did an awful job practicing my cello. But I hope to be snapped out of it for tomorrow, for it is day 5, day of the second wind!

In order to make small steps to prevent today from being a total failure, I:
– drank a liter of water
– washed my face
– actually succeeded in not biting my nails!

ITC Days 2+3!

Day 2
- successful eating of the healthy foods! delicious tomato and mozzarella salad for lunch yumm!
- Total fail again with not biting my nails. Why is it sooo hard!
- No hooping :-( but I did scooter to all my classes and the bank
- the only refined sugar I had was one of those tiny frozen yogurt cones from Jason's Deli, and they are only 70 cals

Today I already
- noticed a positive change in my skin from cleansing every day
- drank one liter of water
- had a piece of fresh fruit
- failed AGAIN at not biting the nails. Will resolve from this moment on, no more!

Today I will
- go to pilates
- eat the least caloric thing at noodles (small buttered noodles - who knew?)

ITC Day 1!

Today I already -

- used cleanser and moisturizer on my face (break out, i will tame thee!)
- had a healthy honey nut cheerio with skim milk and blackberries breakfast


Today I will -

- hoop with amanda! and alli later?
- drink 2 liters of water
- not drink soda!

Everything is topsy-turvey.

Chill, life, chill.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs -

My New Favorite!
Give a Listen.

Observations:

In this class:
- two girls wearing leggings as pants
- a girl who is literally wearing pajamas
- a certain socialite that keeps eating her boogers
- my favorite, a bleach blonde with cutoff jean shorts and ugg boots that look like she has been going seal clubbing in the last few days

Skiing:

- Is stupid.
- Elitist
- probably not that fun
- where rich people go to get away from poor people.
- therefore not something I'm ever going to be able to do.

Confession:

Today was the first day I have practiced cello at DU. Like ever.

I love this:!

"The internet keeps finding other, more socially acceptable ways to justify its existence, but we all know it's really about two things: sex and Radiohead." - Pitchfork

New Year, Old Habits

1. Where aaaare youuu? Olley Olley Oxen-Free! Oh, and Give Peace a Chance!
2. My attitude towards you is changing again, more anger, less missing, but more conflict. We'll see where this takes us.
3. Why it took me this long to re-figure out, I don't know, but in any case I'm glad we are friends again, and I hope we will stay that way this time.
4. I think I will pretend like it didn't happen, even though I'm glad it did, it will make things more...cemented now, methinks.
5. I can't wait for you to do this. Even though the three of us always think we know exactly what's good for you, we tend to be counter-effectual in making your life any better when you sum all of us over the years. It will be good for you to get away from all this tug-of-war, but I do hope I can still be around after you do go away.
6. You are such a dummy, I wish she didn't have to do this with you, she is soooo much smarter than you.
7. Hahahahaha, you're a psycho and everyone knoooows it! Suggestion - no ultimatums unless you are 100% positive what they will say.
8. You, on the other hand, are a psycho but the poor girl doesn't know it yet. I don't know why it bugs me at all, but maybe that will just be an inevitable effect when it comes to what you are to me.
9. I really wish it didn't have to go down that way, but I really understand why it had to. Damn shame, though, I liked that a lot.
10. Straight and no frills, you have not been a good friend. I don't know if you realize how personally we take all this, and we may be wrong to do so, but that doesn't change the fact that we still do. I don't know if it will change, but I hope it does.
11. Patience waning, my friend, pull a trick out of your sleeve.
12. Any of you? Any of you at all?
13. Don't let the gloom get you down, don't forget you ownnn that town!
14. I'm scared of you! That said, I hope you kick my ass!
15. We forgot! I hope we, not just me. Replay this weekend?

The Most Beautiful Thing I've Ever Seen

Colihouse: "Adagio is legendary animator Garri Bardin’s 10-minute stop motion masterpiece in origami, set to Remo Giazotto’s Adagio in G minor. The events of this stark fable about ignorant intolerance among shadowy bird-creatures unfold [huhh huhh!] against a minimal backdrop in a variety of expert shots. The famous string score [used in the 1962 adaptation of Kafka's The Trial, and 1998 film Show Me Love just to name a couple] imparts a melancholy tension throughout.

The camera work is astounding, as is the vast range of expressions Bardin is able to assign these pieces of gray paper. He’s something of authority on bringing everyday objects to life, his famous earlier works being Conflict, where a war erupts among matches and Banquet, in which an entire dinner party plays out without people. Though most of Gari Bardin’s repertoire consists of embittered social commentary, Adagio stands apart in its sheer elegance.

Adagio is loosely based on one of my favorite short stories, Maxim Gorki’s legend of Danko and his burning heart. A part translation, part summary by E.J. Dillon:


Many thousands of years ago in a land of the sunrise beyond the sea, among a despised people who had been driven by a hostile race to the forests from the fertile steppe, lived the hero of this story, Danko. From the swamps and marshes of this dense virgin forest rose mephitic vapors which decimated the persecuted clan. These miserable fugitives, finding no outlet from their living sepulcher, finally decided in despair to seek out their foes and give themselves up to slavery or death.

At the critical moment the handsome young Danko comes forward and, like David among the Hebrews, boldly offers to save his people from the ruin with which they are threatened, to lead them onward to light and life. “Arise, let us enter in the forest depths, pushing on to the other side, for on earth all things have an end.” So mighty was the force of his will, so ardent the fire that burned in his breast, that the multitude rose up and followed him. But their ardor and hope were soon damped by the difficulty of forcing a way through the sunless forest tangle. They soon lost courage and loud were their murmurs against the enterprising leader. Like wild beasts they gathered round him and were on the point of putting him to death for his rash, unmediated interference. Thereat his heart burned with rage at their black ingratitude, but pity for the people quenched the fire. He loved those people and thought within himself that perhaps without him they would perish. And so his heart flamed forth with a blazing fire of desire to save them and to lead them along a smooth path, and his eyes forthwith glistened with the rays of that consuming flame. And all at once he tore open his breast with his hands, plucked out his heart and raised it aloft over his head.

It burned brightly like the sun, brighter than the sun, and all the forest was hushed thereat; illumined by this torch of love for men, darkness fled from its light far into the denseness of the wood and shuddering fell into a quagmire. The people, curious and spellbound, followed him once more, and very soon they saw before them a broad steppe suffused with the brilliant light of the sun reflected by the sparkling river. Softly whispered the wondering trees - now left behind - and the grass, moistened by Danko’s blood, answered them back. The proud dying hero, Danko, glanced at the breadth of the steppe outspread before him, surveyed joyfully the free earth, and proudly smiled. Then he fell and died."

I'm Back at School...

And not really in a fantastic mood. My bank account seems to tell me I have $175 in overdraft fees (and before emma/blair jump to conclusions, this is a legitimate bank -fail.- I did not actually overdraft.) And I made 3 and a half runs between University Hall, Lamont, Halls and Sturm in order to try to drop/ad into writing, orchestra, and lessons, to find out that I can actually only take lessons, meaning I am taking a pathetic 15 credit hours this quarter. And I don't have a job.

But,

I'm back with my friends (the college ones), my new meal plan is far superior and allowed me to have an actually delicious dinner, I am pretty fond of all my new teachers, and, no small 'pro' on the list, Chris is now two doors away again.

I couuuuld stop whining, but where is the blog fun in that?