Are you serious? That can't be right at all.

Aaaaaah..........

I think I missed 'The Office' a liiiiiitle -too- much.

Once in a While, Bulletins Aren't a Complete Waste of Time

Instructions:
Write fifteen statements,
Intended to different people.
Never tell which one is to who.
Things you've always wanted to tell people:

1. You are better than how they make you act.
2. You are going to be an artist and I hope you remember me then.
3. Sometimes I'm afraid you think I'm a child.
4. You aren't balancing yourself at all and that is why you are getting pushed out.
5. You deserve the world, which is why you've had nothing yet.
6. You are one of my best friends and I'm afraid you'll disappear soon. I won't be able to handle that when it has to happen, let alone now.
7. I'm trying, but I'm worried I shouldn't have to be.
8. If you had stayed with us, you wouldn't have lost yourself.
9. You'd be such a great friend if you let yourself be.
10. You aren't overlooked.
11. I wish I had known and been there for you, but I don't know what I would've said.
12. I never expected us to be friends but our friendship is one of the most important and amazing I've ever had.
13. You shouldn't act like you are smarter than us, because you aren't, really.
14. I miss you so much, even though I know I shouldn't as much as I do.
15. I really really want you to like me and I want to be closer.

My subconscious is a bitch.

I don't know why I have to make things so difficult for myself. I'm just tired of having all these things in the future that I just have to accept. Last night as I was kinda falling asleep I had a really realistic dream that it was the last day of school this year that the seniors were going to be at school, and I had to say goodbye to everyone - Ian, Torsten, Lauren, Morgan, Cacia and Sam were walking by my locker to leave the building, and while saying goodbye to them in my dream I started crying so much that I actually woke myself up crying. And when I fell asleep again, the same thing happened, only with -everyone- while I'm playing at their graduation. And I know that I have to actually accept that they are going to move on and that I am not going with them. But that isn't stopping me from being so damn childish. Simply ignoring the fact is the only way I can stop myself from going insane over it, because I sure as hell can't accept it like an adult, or God forbid be excited for them. I am very selfish and I want nothing more than for them to stay with me, because I can't handle losing them.

Even areas in my life that don't have real problems aren't safe from my subconcious. I'll invent problems, pretend old ones are still current (which is the worse of the two) in any area where I'm actually happy. Happy? Simple? Those most certainly aren't allowed for Kaylas...

Ugh. more later maybe.

So I'm basically in love