To Satiate Zachary Cox:

25 Lessons Learned in the First Five Weeks:

- Steel water bottles are more effective for stealing milk from the cafeteria. Aquafinas are downright sketch... Sobes approved on a case-by-case basis. 

- Saturday Night Live is a perfectly acceptable (sole) source of news. The Bahamas could launch a full scale invasion of Asia, but if it doesn't make Weekend Update I will not have a clue.

- If it is past 1AM on the honors floor, not only will the lounge be standing room only, but for some unknown reason the collective vocabulary of the floor has risen to a PhD level. 

- The harder the cause of a group is to sell, the better the free food at the first meeting. I.E. - Alpine Club - Jolly Ranchers (:-/) Amnesty International - Cookies and funsize Snickers (Getting better...) DU Wiccan Baby Sacrificers could be expected to have a steak dinner. (also featuring steak dinners, for some reason, are the frats and sororities... I'll let you glean your own conclusions there)

- My scooter is now an extension of my leg.

- Yoga club might be worthwhile if only to be able to manage to shave my legs in a 9 square foot shower. 

- Examining the socio-psychological value of Super Smash Brothers is a worthy exercise. 

- My betta fish Icky is more resilient than I previously believed. I remember to feed him about 60% of the time. Ok, I'll stop that.

- Anyone who tries to keep a cellist out of an elevator is the equivalent of one of those rich guys on the Titanic that pitched ladies out of the lifeboats, and will be treated as such.

- The Spicy Pickle closes at 4pm, Qdoba closes at 10, Safeway at 12am, the Cstore around 11/12, Jerusalem's never!

- Naps can be taken in any location featuring a chair. 

- Props to the 40 something Greek lady in my classes, but seriously, can't she not wear Harley Davidson baseball hats EVERY DAY?

- Anything is delicious at 2am. A-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. 

- If someone goes to bed before 1:30, everyone assumes they are sick or crazy. 

- Talking during the Office is a cardinal sin.

- There will come a day when 2 North + Ari will score a point in broomball, but most likely (whenever anyone reads this ever) today is not that day. 

- Collars with little bells would be very prudent for certain people on certain weekends. 

- The popluar opinion on campus seems to be that the honors floor must be some kind of cult.

- Nothing clears the usually insanely busy campus green like the 'McCain/Palin Victory Bus'

- Tensions between Mac and PC users at times have the potential to erupt in to a civil war.

- No winky face on the whiteboard, scrunchie on the door handle, deadbolt or rabid doberman pincer will keep you safe from embarrassment. 

- People will go to political meetings just for posters to revenge their partisan enemies with a good plastering.

- If you schedule anything for before 2pm on a Saturday, you better believe there is no chance of you actually completing said activity. 

- No essay, reading or exam is of any importance once someone on the floor starts taking OkCupid or Political Compass tests. 

- Vietnam / Iraq does not seem to be a class where paying attention is particularly important. This blog is written in said lecture.