I'm a COPYCAT, big and shameless (see miss emma's page)

1. That we don't even care as restless as we are, we feel the pull in the land of a thousand guilts and poured cement.
2. See, sometimes when you get that taste of wanting things, You only want for yourself. If you ask me, that's where it gets dangerous.
3. And all you see is where else you could be when you’re at home.
4. Aint it just like the night to play tricks when you’re trying to be so quiet?
5. 'Cause what is simple in the moonlight, By the morning never is.
6. The fragile keep secrets gathered in pockets. And they will sell them for nothing - a cheap watch or locket - that kind of gold washes off
7. This house, it holds nothing but the memories.
8. is this real, or is it just the way we communicate?
9. Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
10. Well I’m not a child. No I am much younger than that
11. And now, I'm confused. Is this death really you?
12. I’m nothing without their love.

I love IM

Zimgirl16 [10:44 P.M.]: half of me was hoping you'd be like, 'oh yeah, just start taking a couple ginsing supplements a day, that gets rid of all unwanted romantic feelings in a week flat'

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SedatedTimeBomb [11:10 P.M.]: Well, think about it! You sit around waiting for the call, and next thing you know, you're 30 working a dead end job with nothing but contempt for life. And then there's the ginsing. Without that, you'd be... un ginsinged.
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AMS booboo [10:25 P.M.]: i think it has snowed enough...Zimgirl16 [10:25 P.M.]: ha, totally Zimgirl16 [10:27 P.M.]: ill go outside and go, 'alright, thank you, snow, youve been great, but we're going a different direction that doesnt involve staring at your white ass for the next week, so, someone will be with you shortly to collect your nametag. (it says big huge jerk on it, btw)
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I Only Put This Here Because It Makes a REALLY Cool Playlist

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
-Open iTunes-Shuffle-Play-For every question, type the song that's playing-When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits: Old Flame - Arcade Fire

Waking Up: Season - The Academy Is..... (funny, the first words are 'wake up think fast')

First Day At School: I'm not okay - My Chemical Romance

Making Your New Best Friend: Dammit - Blink 182

Falling In Love: Sleeping In - The Postal Service

Breaking Up: Ionizes and Atomizes - Modest Mouse

Prom: Absolutely Sweet Marie - Bob Dylan

Graduation: Feeling This - Blink 182

Life's Okay: July, July! - The Decemberists

Death of a Close Friend: Lost and Found - Senses Fail

Driving: Spitting Games - Snow Patrol

Flashback: Ocean Avenue - Yellowcard

Getting Back Together: Lover's Spit - Broken Social Scene

Birth of Child: Baby Body - Youth Group (ha, how funny)

Wedding Scene: Here in Your Arms - Hellogoodbye

Car Accident: Crazy Mary - Pearl Jam

Final Battle: Take Back - Green Day

Death Scene: Recording a Tunnel (The Horns Play Underneath the Canal) - Bell Orchestre

Funeral Song: Candlelight - Imogen Heap

End Credits: Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers

Pachelbel Rant

This is the plight of EVERY CELLIST!

Letters From LEP - 4 months later

This is the letter I wrote to myself four months ago while having the time of my life at LEP, which was delivered to me today. I really, really needed it. I like remembering that at one point, I had confidence and felt worth it.

Hey Stranger,
Four months ago, you were having a great time. You may now be reaching the winter doldrums, but I hope this letter cheers you up if that's the case. I usually tell you about me, but it is so intruiguing that I know nothing about you. How is IB? The orchestra? Did Beauty and the Beast go beautifully? Do you have a boyfriend? Is he someone I know? What about for the rest of school?
Have you called everyone from LEP? Okay, if you haven't, drop this letter right now, this instant. Call Corynn and go to a concert. Go climb something with Maddy and Paul. For God's sake, have a sleepover!
Are the movies done? Does everyone have one?
What are you listening to? Right now its Fall Out Boy. Yesterday, all Death Cab.
At LEP you are open. You communicate. You are funny. You like Amanda( does she have braces? I hope not.....)
You fling sticky frisbees at the ceiling for hours.
You paint your nails every four days and dress quite excellently.
You are confident.
Are you?
You are your own limitation, you know.
Trust people. No matter where your friends are in the circle, someone will always be there to catch you.
You've eaten Rocky Mountain Oysters.
Don't fret. You're a pretty cool kid, no matter how your current situation may be making you feel. I hope you believe in me as much as I believe in you.

<3
Kayla

I know, I know, sue me why don't you.

1. I am so beyond happy for you, and I am SO beating up anyone that says otherwise! (NOT ALLOWED)
2. Our conclusions suck.
3. Damn you, finals. (not belonging here but still)
4. You seem to be way more like me than i thought previously. Neat! It makes you much more accessible.
5. You had better do things right this time. You're doing really well to start, keep up the good work.
6. Why won't you ever come with us?
7. $30 is a stupid price, stupid.
8. Why did you do that? I know why. And I wasn't lying at all last night. I wish things were different. I would change it if i could go back.
9. Don't show seniors such sad movies! You broke them all.
10. You two crack me up. Why all the defensive? I think you got a wrong memo that said I was a bit cooler (and more vulnerable) than you think, though.
11. To one of you two - I see where you got the idea, but I don't know what makes it so you think i need a talking to.
12. Why would anyone ever be mad at you?
13. YOURE WEARING A CAPE!!!!! A CAPE!!!!! there, i said it.
14. Don't get blown up.
15. You'll get there. But i think i know when and you won't like it.

I am so cool. I get a cookie.

<3!

Let's see that poker face, now.

When I say these things, I need to be less thinly-veiled. On both fronts, I just need to accept them. I wonder if it they have something in common. Maybe I'm just jealous of anyone/everyone. I don't really believe that. But then again, I don't really believe what he wrote, and I don't believe anything about the other one either, so maybe I'm just even more near-sighted than I thought. (Or i should say far sighted, but in the wrong direction.)

#80

So maybe missing Dateapalooza Extravaganza was a stroke of luck....
And Ian is so totally a liarface.
So is Emma/Alexia.

Atrophy is for quitters

At home all night this fine, chilly Saturday evening.
I would've made it to the master class, I swear! If only it were in 20 days from now - Liberation.
I wonder how Dateapalooza Extravaganza went.....
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Funny how things cycle, always on the same rhythm with me... Come December, I get despondent and bored with my life, usually wondering why I even bother with most of it. I can't ever remember when this stupid phase ends, but until it does I usually just stay in a limbo with whats going on in my life or try to return to old ones.

Like for example, (and I hate that whenever I write it turns into this but what the hell) I know I'm ready to move on from what's happened this first half of the year, but the problem is that kind of takes two, if you will, and its that second part that I'm always so incapable at. A few days ago I had resigned myself to just floating through the next half of the year and just letting that part atrophy; but that is very much not my style. Especially with things like the dateapalooza extravaganza going on....