INTRUDER ALERT!

So Saturday night, I fell asleep on the couch watching SNL with my sister. I kept vaguely hearing that my cats were yowling (sounding like some human with a stuffy nose is going 'YAAAAOOO') knocking things over like cereal boxes and what sounded like heavy metal things, but as much as this signifyed bad news, I was much to sleepy to care. I finally sat bolt upright when I heard them screech and hiss, a VERY unpleasant sound and yelled CAAATS!!! which also woke up Amanda. She looked over the edge of the couch to the terrible sight of THIS INTRUDER:VIOLATING my poor kitty! So my sister yells, at 3:43 in the morning, "THERE IS A CAT WHO IS NOT OUR CAT IN OUR HOUSE VIOLATING A CAT WHO IS OUR CAT IN OUR HOUSE."
I run to my mom's room and repeat the same, and we both run out in time to see the fiend run out the back door, which he had OPENED. No joke, I closed the door myself before going to bed, and he runs out a 7 inch gap. He wouldn't leave, either! He just layed there on the porch waiting for us to go away so he could break in again and probably violate poor Paris as well.
Jerk.
So, I'll probably have about 6 or 7 kittens to give away this winter, if anyone is looking...